Every memory was once a now. We call it memory when we keep a mental copy of a now. The first time time we recall it, we bring up the copy, alter it slightly and keep a new copy for the next time we want to remember that now. It is for this reason that the more we remember a now, the more we alter the copy of the copy of the copy… of that now. Therefore whenever we remember, a memory moves a step away from the now it belonged to; every now fading away the more we hang on to them. The alternative is being present in as many nows as possible. Here it is, mindfulness again.
Our identities are built from the copies of nows that we have stored over the years, a selection of the strongest imprints embodied in flesh that we all call “myself”. You see how easily it can all turn into a mess? Memories that shapeshift and nows that were never saved, darkness lit by thin spotlights: welcome to “myself”. Does your “myself” taste slightly unreal too? Mine tends to trip* to relax. Too many weird copies. And attached to each copy, unconscious emotions, repressed thoughts and obviated sensations.
So if anyone is reading this, now is exactly right now. Have you kept a copy? Or did you just smile and let it go? Either way it will be gone.
By the way hello to your “myself”.
*Under proper circumstances tripping can be used as a flashlight lantern for the dumpster cleanings.
