The energy of anger is located in the chest. It is an uncomfortably warm vibration and when it grows, it can easily turn into rage. At this point, the energy tends to shoot upwards towards the throat, and keeping the mouth shut becomes almost impossible. This is the moment when we shout and say hurtful things to other people, but also to ourselves. This happened to me many more times than I can remember. The aftermath was always shameful, painful even. The wish to never let it happen again was always there, but I somehow kept on failing over and over again.
The observation technique is once more the only efficient solution that I have found so far. When I feel anger raising, I try to just observe it. I observe its vibration, the type of thoughts that it brings up, its drive to attack, how my breath and my heart get heavier and rushier. If it happens at any given moment during the day, this procedure usually helps to avoid anger from turning into rage. If you are not able to observe your anger in that moment, use physical activity as misdirection or just divert your attention in any other way (never destructive, obviously), so that the energy gets redirected and you can avoid saying or doing stuff that you will later regret. This still doesn’t always work, but it does most of the times, which knowing where I come from, it’s a great success.
During meditation, the observation of anger is slightly different than in waking life. There are no body movements and no distractions, which makes observation very uncomfortable. Sometimes rage even comes up, but there can be no movement, eyes and mouth remain closed. This is a very valuable moment if you manage to observe it. If anger is observed long enough without judgement, without wishing it to go away, without playing along, without helping it to raise, the energy begins to slowly descend and once it reaches the solar plexus, it turns into sadness. Once anger becomes sadness, the revelation is served. It suddenly becomes clear why the themes that anger brings up are what actually hurts us and makes us sad.
This emotional transmutation from an active and combative emotion into a passive and vulnerable emotion is not achieved easily. It requires a lot of patience, since the process of observation needs to be repeated over and over again for it to work. Specially at the beginning, this process might many times crumble, and the need to stand up during meditation will become so overwhelming that it might be unavoidable. Do not desperate, this is a hard training, but the results are worth the effort.
NOTA MENTAL
Do not forget than anger and sadness worsen with exhaustion. Sometimes exhaustion can feel like anger and sadness. In this cases, just rest, do not engage. I repeat: do not engage.
THE NEW NORMAL
For a very long time, I haven’t felt anger.
Be kind to yourself.
Keep observing.
It works.
Keep on.
Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Meditate, meditate, meditate.
